| And then there were the Russians! |
| Written by Reg Clarke | |
|
Sometime in the early 1960s, when Russia was a secretive land behind the Iron Curtain, news leaked out that they had successfully taught dogs to talk. What, I wonder, were the nature of those conversations between human and dog? Were the discussions profound? Did they talk of the latest satellite launches or expound the relative virtues of Brecht or Moliere or Turgenev? Or did those doggies, just like their masters everywhere, express their erotic imaginings about ‘girl friends’ down the street … and where did these dogs draw the line on bad language … and did Russian dogs tell jokes? Dogs have a great deal of time for meditation as they lay there in the garden or on a rug by the log fire. Should the Russians - in this more enlightened age of ‘Freedom of Information’ - let us in on their secret of some 40 off years ago, we may soon know what our pet Fidos are thinking during these meditative periods. The revelation may not always be pleasant! What may be laughable or commonplace to a dog may prove an embarrassment to you or your friends. Remember also, our pets often witness us in our most private moments. It may be wise to start being extra kind to your canine pal now, otherwise when they commence speaking they may publicly humiliate you later. Should it come to be, and having been without it for so long, our pet Fidos may well over-use their new-found wonderful gift of speech and, if so, could well drive us all ‘barking mad’! My dog’s name is Spanner. She’s a Border Collie and l’amour de ma vie. We regularly walk together along the lanes around our home in the Haut-Vienne … and we chat at length. Well, to be honest, I chat and Span’ just silently glances up at me with those captivating ‘Walt Disney cartoon eyes’ of hers. One day she’ll possibly surprise me by saying “don’t you talk the most absolute twaddle”!
|
| < Prev |
|---|
